Why would anyone ask to be respected?

Asking for help: that's why it's so difficult

At some point there will come a moment for everyone when they are finished with their own Latin. You simply cannot be good in every area, know everything, be able to do everything and solve every small and large problem completely by yourself. A shame? Not at all, rather the completely normal course of events. The seemingly simple solution: To ask for help. Be it with colleagues at work, in the family or with good friends, who are usually happy to do a favor. However, it is precisely with this simple question that many people find it difficult. To ask for help? That's out of the question, I can somehow manage it on my own ...Your own pride and the expectations of those around you are usually in the way ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Asking for help: No problem for children

It can hardly be described how many different situations there are in which one could and should seek help from others. At work, when you get stuck with a task and apparently no answer can be found, or in private life, when you are planning a move, to name just two of the classic examples. You just stand there and don't know what to do on your own.

The best way to orientate yourself in such a situation is to use children. Because it is absolutely normal for them to ask for help and have something explained to themif you don't already know. A quality that many people unfortunately lose in adulthood. At some point you suddenly begin to question your natural reflex and feel ashamed of asking others for help. There can be various reasons for this change.

You may have once made bad experienceswhen you asked someone for help. Such experiences can be very memorable and even if you no longer consciously remember that the request was refused or maybe even smiled at and laughed at for it, future behavior can be influenced. This is exactly how the environment and the general one can Setting in society do their partthat it is getting harder and harder to ask for help. Many people see themselves exposed to a steadily increasing pressure to succeed and expectation.

Flaws and flaws? Hardly anyone can afford it these days - at least that is the widespread image. Asking for help quickly becomes an admission that you can no longer keep up. A nakedness that nobody wants to show in a world in which everyone has to be perfect.

Why it is so difficult to ask for help

What makes it so difficult to ask others for help is often anchored in one's own mind. It is this inner voice that prevents you from following the first impulse and so we don't ask questions, but torment ourselves alone with our problems that might be solved in no time if we could only overcome ourselves. But that is exactly what is so incredibly difficult - although both sides would benefit if help was asked.

Those who ask for help usually get it and are no longer faced with an unsolvable task, but can continue. The other is asked for help, which in itself makes you happyas it shows that you are valued for your skills or knowledge. At the same time it is a nice feeling to see how you could give someone else a hand.

But do you know what thoughts make it so difficult to ask for helpyou can do something about it:

  1. One shows weakness

    Asking for help always means admitting that you can't do something. You show weakness and thereby possibly make yourself vulnerable to others. The competitive situation is often enormous, especially professionally, and so everyone tries to present a picture of themselves that is as flawless as possible in order to be able to meet the high expectations and not to lose touch. It tries to hide any inadequacy - which doesn't work if you openly ask for help.

    The only thing that helps here is to work on your own attitude. Do not make more of the request for help than it is. It is perfectly normal, and in many situations the best solution, to ask for help. This is exactly what a good manager should understand: Those who ask for help learn something new, and those who do not make the same mistakes again and again in the long term.

  2. One is afraid of one's reputation

    What do the others think of me? Many people worry about how others will perceive them. You want to be liked and respected - and by no means end up losing out. Unfortunately, these are exactly the thoughts that keep popping up when you have to ask someone for help. Although this is mostly unfounded, the effect remains.

    Ask yourself: How important is it to you to get approval from someone who judges you because of a request for help? Most of the time, these are exactly the people you can do without in your life anyway.

  3. Self-esteem suffers

    In addition to the point of view of others, the self-image also plays a major role. Self-esteem can be damaged when the feeling spreads that you are not good enough and therefore need to ask for help. Suddenly you think you can't do anything right anymore and you develop self-doubt.

    It's not easy, but when you ask for help, understand that it is a sign of confidence and a clear self-image. Enough people mistakenly think they don't need help and then make mistake after mistake.

  4. One is in the debt of the other

    Like you to me, like me to you ... At least that's how many see the situation when you ask someone else for help. So if you ask your colleague whether he can take on a task or whether it is possible to swap a shift, you end up in the uncomfortable position of not being able to refuse the next time when you are asked for a favor by that colleague .

    In order not to be in the debt of the other person, one simply does not ask at all. This does not help anyone in case of doubt, but at least you do not become dependent. It is better to be very clear: Just ask and if you get help, you should be happy to reciprocate the gesture.

  5. You don't want to be a burden to anyone

    Another point that makes many hesitate before asking for help: Can I really bother others with my problems? Sure, everyone has their own difficulties, some small, some larger. But it is precisely for this reason that you should help each other and be ready to speak to others when you reach your limits yourself.

    Very few people find it a burden when asked for help. The vast majority are not only happy to do so, but also feel honored that they of all people have been approached.

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20th August 2020Author: Nils Warkentin

Nils Warkentin studied business administration at the Justus Liebig University in Giessen. On the career bible, he is devoted to topics related to studies, career entry and everyday office life.

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